Total takes over
by rainbowstrike
Summary: When Fang leaves his laptop out, Total decides that it's his time to shine. He hacks Fang's blog and begins to write about things the flock would probably not want the world to know... This is a present to my 'The Lists' readers! R & R
1. The hacking begins

**A/N;**

**The long (well, not really **_**long**_**) awaited release of...**

**Total takes over!**

**YAY! **

**I'm excited for this. Be sure to leave ideas in a review :) **

**Iggy: Give me a gobstopper! **

**Rain: No! My gobstoppers! **

**Iggy: You still manage to talk when eating them... it's very unfortunate. **

**Rain: It's not all that hard. **

**Iggy: Give me one!**

**Rain: Ugh... –hands gobstopper- **

**Iggy: Yum! **

**Rain: Iggy?**

**Iggy: -eating gobstopper- Rain owns nothing. Still. She does own this packet of gobstoppers though... she bought it. **

Total glanced around, his furry head whipping back and forth. Fang was an idiot... leaving his laptop out in the open like that. His blog was even sitting on the screen, just _waiting_ for someone to simply walk over and send their words to the world... Total padded towards the laptop. This was his chance...

The sound of footsteps sounded through the room and Total scurried away with a nearly inaudible yelp.

"Total...?" Iggy's voice. Total breathed a sigh of relief. Thank god that kid was blind.

"Hey Iggy." Total said, getting up on the sofa and lying down. "What's up?"

"What are you up to?" Iggy asked, his voice suspicious.

"Nothing. Why would you suspect me of anything?" Total answered, trying to sound as innocent as possible. Iggy shrugged, and continued walking towards the kitchen. It was a wonder those bird kids didn't weigh 1000 pounds by now. Total waited, rather impatiently, for Iggy to get his food and get the hell away from him and the laptop. He eyed it uneasily. Should he..? Shouldn't he..?

Well, duh! World-wide fame! A talking, typing dog! With wings! Iggy eventually left, and Total sprinted to the laptop as fast as his little legs would carry him. He leapt up onto the chair and felt his doggy lips pull back into a smirk as he hit 'New blog post'. It was a little hard, but eventually Total worked out how he could type with his paws...

**Hello! You are reading Fang's blog!**

**Today's date: 15/7/09 **

**Visitor Number: Thingy broke AGAIN. **

**Hello! It's Total here. I don't know if Fang's mentioned me before, but I happen to be a dog. How can I write this, you might ask? Well, I'm not exactly a normal dog. I can talk, and a few months ago I sprouted wings, like the flock. It's much more dignified now that I don't have to ride in their arms, let me tell you. But, uh, if we ever run into a group of Flyboys... well... I'm not really much of a fighter... anyway,**

**So, Fang's left his laptop out in the open, and his blog was just **_**waiting**_** for me to come and add to it... Actually, I think this might be a fantastic opportunity to get back at Fang for the dog food incident... I'm taking over. **

**You all know Max and Fang are a definite item, right? Well, if you're a new-comer, they are in l-o-v-e **_**love**_**, at least according to Nudge and Angel. I think that's why Fang actually left his laptop out. Max wanted to go flying, or something. **

**Being a tiny dog **_**does**_** have it upsides, I must admit. And that brings me to my next point- I saw Max and Fang having a certain conversation... and I think that I might just post it up here. **

**Fang: Hey Max...**

**Max: Mhm? **

**Fang: You like me, right? **

**Max: Yeah... sure. **

**Fang: You like me a lot?**

**Max: Yeah... where are you going with this? **

**Fang: I just like hearing it... **

**(Max rolled her eyes after he said that, by the way)**

**Max: Okay then. I like you a lot. Do you like me a lot?**

**Fang: Nope. **

**Max: What? **

**Fang: I like you more than a lot. **

**(Max looked **_**very**_** relieved)**

**Max: Oh... okay then. **

**Fang: -kisses- **

**Yep. That's what happens. Straight from the horse's mouse. Or the dog's mouth, rather... 100% TRUE. So, Fang loves Max, Max is kind of scared of Fang's love but loves him back, and Total the talking, flying dog saw it all. **

**You know, this blog stuff is fun. Although- Oh crap! Here comes Fang! **

**Have to go hide! Angel will protect me...**

**-Total, running and avoiding Fang. **

Total posted the blog and left the laptop how he had found it, running away towards Angel's room. Angel and Nudge were in there playing some card game, he'd passed by them a while earlier. He leapt into Angel's waiting arms and tried to look nonchalant.

"What have you been-" Angel asked, but then stopped as she read his thoughts. "Oh." She giggled, and Nudge gave her a questioning look.

"What happened? Hey Total, you look kinda outta breath. You should probably run more often then, although flying is good enough exercise I guess. Hey, we should get Dr. M to check if you have air-sacs, like us! I mean, you can fly now, and-"

"Your turn." Angel said, smoothly cutting her off. Total ignored them for a while, his eyes glued to the corridor. He was _so_ in for it when Fang found out.

_Later_

Fang took the laptop to his room and opened up his blog. There were 500 more comments than there were that morning... he opened up his latest blog posts, and his eyes widened as he read the top one. Total took over his blog? Fang's already dark eyes darkened even more, and he snapped the laptop shut angrily.

"TOTAL!" he yelled, stomping out of his, Iggy's and Gazzy's room. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING!?" The sound of Total's terrified yelp reached his ears, and Fang began running for Angel's room.

Total was _so_ in for it.

Max glanced up as Fang ran past the living room, yelling for Total to stop hiding. She sighed. What had the little mutt done this time?

"Hey, Fang! Slow it down for a sec." Max called, getting up and following him. Fang's face was red as he turned around to face her, and Max had to bite back a laugh. "What did Total do?"

"Hacked my blog." Fang growled. Max made a mental note to read it later.

"Okay... well, don't kill him. Angel would probably hate you for life." Max warned. Fang nodded before charging off again. She shook her head and went back to the TV. Some things she just had to shrug off. If Fang wanted to rough the little squirt up a little, who was she to stop him?

'Sides, it might teach the mutant dog a lesson...

**A/N;**

**Next chapter- blog comments! If you want to leave a comment for Total, just review!**

**~Rain!**


	2. Comments!

**A/N;  
I am so happy! So many of you reviewed! Thank you all! **

**So, here is the Total blog comments. Don't worry, this is gonna be a multi-chapter story. Total will be hacking the almighty Fang's blog a lot more, trust me. This one will be short, because it's just comments and responses. Duh. :D **

**Iggy: He better not mention-**

**Rain: -clamps hand over mouth- Shush! If you say it, I can't write it! **

**Iggy: -muffled protesting- **

**Rain: -duct taping Ig's mouth- I own nothing, btw. R & R! **

**Oh, and 1910tsuki, watch out for your mention! 7andthefluff, I just **_**had**_** to put your comment in here. Hope you don't mind!**

Total padded over and leapt up onto Fang's bed, where the laptop was waiting for him. In truth, that darn blog had always been at the back of his mind for the last three days, and it had gotten to the point where he enlisted Angel's help to get the laptop password. Fang had stepped up the security after he hacked it last time. Since then, he'd been waiting for his opportunity, and this was it. He pulled up Fang's blog, his little paws already adjusting so he was able to type and control the mouse pad.

His eyes bugged as he saw the number of comments! Well, time to reply, eh?

**Jessikakarly101: Oh Total u bad puppy! No treats 4 u! Haha! **

_I don't eat treats. Dogs should be given the same respect humans are, thanks Jessikakarly101. _

**Supasmexkiki: can you tell fang that i luv him? I always tell him in his blog but he neva writes me bak, plz plz plz! **

_Um, sorry Supasmexkiki, but Fang's already taken by Max. The same Max that would probably knock you flat if you tried to make a move on her boyfriend. Just a head's up. _

**Midge 1012: nice Total!! =] i can't wait to see what Fang does to you!! good luck!!  
i think u r well funny  
ur the best Dog eva  
x**

_Thanks heaps Midge 1012, I know I am pretty funny, huh? I should definitely hack Fang's blog more often. Just to let you know, Fang tried to dunk me in the toilet. It was... less than pleasant. You should all tell him that he should cut me a break! Yeesh! _

**Mollymoo: Hey Fang you should totally keep tellin' us all this flock stuff! It's soooo funny and kewl and keep it up!**

_I'll try. Can't make any promises, seeing as I happen to like living. _

**7andthefluff: FANG AND MAX SITTING IN A GUTTER EATING PEANUT BUTTER AND KISSING EACH OTHER!**

_Um... well, I'll keep tabs on the peanut butter at the place we're staying at, and see if any randomly goes missing. Otherwise I don't think Max and Fang steal peanut butter and eat it while sitting in a gutter and kissing... _

**Rowena of Naxon: O.O This is so funny! I didn't know Max and Fang were so close! Total, can you do this more often?**

_I'll do my best. Fang might kill me if I do it too much, however. But whatever, I'm dedicated!_

**Random Girl: Run Total RUN!**

_Unfortunately, running didn't really make a difference. You know the saying 'you can run but you can't hide'? Well, that was me. _

**Lainiesawesomeness: Total, that was very mean of u, but wickedly AWESOME! Hahahaha that was HILARIOUS, poor fang. **

_Poor Fang? Poor Fang?! Who was dunked in a toilet, thank you? Yeah, that's right. I, the poor, unappreciated Total was dunked in the toilet, so I think you all should be saying POOR TOTAL! But yes, it was wickedly awesome. Thanks. _

**Angelpie203: man wat did max do to u? She must've totally killed u! **

_Well, I'm not dead, so obviously she didn't kill me. But yeah, she did get pretty mad. It's wasn't a nice sight to see... or to experience for that matter. She threw a weird speckled pumpkin at me, and that girl has got incredibly good aim. It hurt a heck of a lot, just FYI. _

**Jellyisyum: its so cool that u can fly like the flock! Peace out. **

_It is pretty cool, huh? Although I'm glad my beloved Akila still holds me in her heart even with the freaky wings. She is an angel on earth, that woman. Anyway, yeah. Peace out and stuff. _

**Kara Nicole:** **Max and Fang sittin in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g. Fang is gonna kill u. **

_I'm not dead yet, guys! And yeah, they do sit in trees and kiss a lot. Nice assumption._

_Well, I'd better go. I have to be careful now. Thanks for commenting, I'll hack again soon!_

_-Total, the amazing flying, talking dog. _

**A/N;**

**So, I hope you enjoy. Another chapter should be posted soon. I've got to work on 'Forgetmenot' and 'Caged' first... bah. **

**R & R, makes me update faster!**


	3. Fang's blog is so 2007

**A/N;**

**Here's another chapter of Total takes over for you all. I hope you like it, and I hope it lives up to your expectations. **

**Iggy: And if it doesn't?**

**Rain: Well, no one forced them to read it. :D**

**Iggy: Fair enough. She owns nothing, FYI. **

**Rain: Hm, I can't decide which I like using more. FYI or BTW. **

**Iggy: It depends on the situation, I guess. **

**Rain: Uhuh. This chapter's going to be a little different, so I guess I'll start it now. :)**

Total padded out into the living room, and jumped up onto the sofa. Fang was half watching TV and half writing his blog. Total stared enviously at the laptop. Maybe he could get Angel to convince someone to buy him one...

No, that was stupid. What he _really_ needed to do was start his _own_ blog!  
"I really am a genius." Total muttered to himself. With newfound anticipation, the talking dog settled in to wait for Fang to finish up on his blog. Fang eyed him suspiciously.

"If you're thinking about hacking my blog again, forget it." He told him firmly. Total rolled his eyes.

"So quick to jump to conclusions, Fang. I just wanted to see if my favourite soap opera is on. I think they've changed the time, and NO WAY am I missing Rick finding Maria's letter... and you're not listening." Total trailed off, realising Fang had turned back to the computer screen. Good, he was distracted. A little while later Fang closed the laptop lid, and Total did a very good impression of a 'sleeping' dog. Fang's footsteps echoed down the hall and Total quickly followed him. Fang went and put the laptop on his bed, and just before he closed the door, Total slunk inside and smirked to himself. His blog would be so much more popular than Fang's, I mean, who doesn't want to read stuff written by a talking dog?

Opening up the computer and going on to the site Fang had set up his blog on, he quickly signed up and started typing.

**Hello! You are reading Total's blog!  
Visitor Number: Trying to build this up, c'mon people!  
Today's date: 25/7/09 **

**Hello everyone! Yes, this is the same Total who hacked Fang's blog a few weeks ago. I've decided that because I will probably get thrown to the sharks if I keep hacking Fang's blog and revealing his personal secrets, I shall have a SECRET blog of my own! So everyone, that means NO TELLING FANG. Got it? Okay, thanks.**

**Before I get into any gossip, I'd like to ask you all if you have really strict parents. Honestly, to cut a REALLY long story short, the lady (she's really nice, don't get me wrong) we're staying with made us these 'lists' **(A/N; Go and read 'The Lists' if you haven't already!) **of things we're not allowed to do anymore! Apparently Fang complained to her about my hacking his blog, and so that was on my list, along with some other things. I'm no longer allowed to watch soap operas with Nudge and Angel, either. Anyway, we got out revenge by switching lists and breaking all the rules, following them to the EXTREME and finally, writing Dr. M a list. She eventually hit the roof and tore all the lists down. It was pretty funny, if I do say so myself. **

**Anyway, after the incident with the toilet and the speckled pumpkin, I've been avoiding Fang and Max quite a bit, but I DID get the chance to witness something for all you Iggy lover's out there. **

**So, there's this girl we're staying with, she's a little younger than Iggy, like a year maybe, and her name's Ella. I won't go into the technicalities of how we know her, but let's just say she's pretty close to Max. Anyway, she and Iggy have had a REALLY OBVIOUS crush on each other for a heck of a long time now. It's general flock knowledge that they had a date a few nights ago, and the reason it's general flock knowledge is because I saw them. It wasn't very fancy, and Iggy wasn't over-doing the romance, which was okay, all they did was watch some British movie. **

**Anyway, back to the story. I was on my way to the kitchen when I passed by them in the living room, and of course I stopped to see what was going on! By this point, Iggy had his arm around her shoulders and her head was nestled into his neck. Slowly, ever so slowly, Iggy leant down, and they shared a **_**very**_** clumsy first kiss. I believe that if I was Nudge or Angel, I would've gone 'awww'. But I am a manly guy, very manly. **

**So there we have it, Iggy got his first kiss, and I'm presuming it's Ella's too. Ahh, young love. **

**Anyway, I'd better go. Tell your friends, but not Fang!**

**-Total. **

Total posted the blog and exited the window. He ran for the door, but ran smack into it! Oh crap! He was shut inside! Damn Fang! Damn him to heck! Oh man... how was he gonna get out of this one? And how did he not notice that the door was closed? Total sighed. If this was the 'karma' he'd been hearing about, he didn't like it.

**A/N;**

**Hehe. Sorry to leave it there, but w/e.  
R & R, makes me update faster! Make sure you leave comments for Total, too!**


	4. Stuck in Fangs room replying to comments

**A/N;  
Sorry, it's been a little while since I've updated this. This is blog comments, but the next 'real' chapter shall be coming soon.  
Read4urlife: I think they are a tad young to be in pairings. I mean, Angel's 6... *ahem*, **_**seven**_**, Gazzy's 8, and Nudge is only 11. That's why I don't like Niggy, only Eggy... No offence to anyone who writes that, of course! That's just my opinion. Anyway, back to my original point- I won't create pairing mishaps for them. I'll be mentioning them though, putting them in embarrassing situations. This won't all be pairing stuff. :) Hope that answers your question. **

**Also, PeruvianChick- when birds fly, they ride on thermals. It's harder for them to flap and fly without any air updrafts. Plus, Total doesn't have opposable thumbs, and even putting both paws on the doorknob and twisting wouldn't get him out. I learnt the thermals thing from Animorphs! ;)**

**KaraNicole: Um, I'll let Iggy field this response.  
Iggy: I finally kissed a GIRL? What do you mean? Have I kissed boys without knowing it? Because so far as I know, I haven't kissed any boys. I don't get your review, please explain. **

**Rain: You kissed Ella Martinez, and you liked it...**

**Iggy: That was lame. **

**Rain: -shrugs- AND YOU LIKED IT!!**

**R & R. **

Total sighed, opening his eyes. This was just too annoying. He was trapped in Fang's room, and Fang's room smelt suspiciously like old pizza. Just saying. His doggy nose was screaming for fresh air, but he'd tried everything, from screaming in his mind for Angel, to trying to smash the window. Nothing had worked.

He'd been in there for over _two hours_ now! He'd definitely missed Rick and Maria's letter scene, that was for sure. He spied the laptop, sitting innocently on Fang's bed. He wondered if there were any blog comments for him, and decided to go and check. Signing in quickly, his eyes bugged as he saw the number of comments. Well, at least he'd have something to do now! Scanning over them, he picked a few and began to reply...

**Reiko Rose:  
How do you type? Is it a really clumsy hunt-and-peck thing or are you just awesome like that? And as for Iggy & Ella- aw...**

_Well Reiko, I pin it all down to my awesomeness. No, I really don't know. I just press the buttons and use spell check afterwards for my (many) mistakes. And yes, I guess it was pretty cute. But like I said, I'm a manly-man! Er, dog. Whatever. _

**Santaclausrules18:  
You are amazing Total, if I could, I would marry you. Except that would be weird because, no offence, but you ARE a dog, albeit a talking, typing one, and Akila. *sigh* anywhoo... Hope you post again soon! *evil laugh* there's nothing like knowing dirty, naughty little secrets *mwa ha* LOL Byeas!**

_Um... should I be afraid? But thank you, I suppose I am pretty amazing. I mean, how many dogs can fly, talk and type? Only me? Wow. I'll try to post mucho soon. _

**SweeneyLovett:  
*Shakes head slowly* Total, Total, Total... See ya in the afterlife! **

_Hm, what do I say to that? Uh, thanks? _

**Supercooldude:  
Hey Total, have u had ur first kiss? Or do dogz not kiss liek ppl? Im confused can ya tell me? **

_Of course I've had my first kiss! And no, we don't kiss like you do. We don't sniff butts either, if that's what you were thinking... that's disgusting. _

**Kelsey Goode:  
Ah, nice job, Total! If you're a 'manly guy' then why are you watching soap operas with Angel and Nudge? Oh, and I think you should start something new, like, picking one Flock member per post or something and following them around-- trying to find dirt on them, and then tell us all!  
Peace. Love. Total!**

_Well, Kelsey, I happen to think that even manly guys such as myself are allowed to show their sensitive side every once and a while. Besides, soap operas are not girly! And I might just do that, thanks for the suggestion. _

**Shadowleaf264:  
Hey, FANG! Total started a blog! Teeheehee. **

_Not funny! Seriously, don't tell Fang! _

**Luna Padma:  
You go Total! GO ELLA+IGGY!  
WRITE MORE!  
AND I MEAN NOW!**

_Okay... don't freak out. I'll write more as soon as there's something to write about. Thanks for being so... uh... passionate about my blog. _

**Dt2009 with Dark Blue Wings:  
HAHAHA! i cant believe Iggy and Ella shared a clumsy kiss! the way Iggy acts u'd think he had more experience...lol. So what does Max think about this little kiss? or does she not know?**

_Max doesn't know... as of yet. Ella might've told her, I don't know. I'll get back to you. And yeah, sometimes Iggy's all talk. I don't think he's actually as sexist as everyone makes him out to be. He really likes Ella, that's for sure! ;) _

**Midge 1012:  
wicked your own blog  
dont worry i wont tell Fang  
haha Iggy n Ella  
finally!!  
yup u r a very MANLY guy *sarcasm*  
i still luv u  
=] x**

_Haha, thanks Midge 1012. I definitely don't need Fang knowing about this. (Hear that, Shadowleaf264!?) And I am a manly guy! Don't be sarcastic! Why does no one believe me about this?? _

**Natvv:  
Omg !! Total you have your own blog !! I'm telling all my friends !! I have a picture of you that someone posted, you are SO CUTE !! I copied it ALL OVER BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO CUTE !! And guess what ?! My mom said I can have a dog ! Want to be my puppy ?! It's so cool you can talk. I mean what's better than a cute little fluffy adorable talking puppy ?! CUTE !! *pixel-pets your fluffy head*  
I LOVE YOU !! And I won't tell Fang 3 ;]**

_Wow... I think I just found my biggest fan. And, uh, I don't think I could be your puppy. I'm Angel and the flock's dog. Angel would be sad without me and the flock... well, they'd just be lost! Thanks for the offer, and yes I am cute. _

_Well everyone, I'd better be going. Thanks for all the comments!  
-Total._

**A/N;**

**That was longer than the last blog comments! :D**

**R & R!**


	5. Scarred for life, much?

**A/N;**

**I've been really slack with this, and I'm so sorry! :)  
Even though I get so many amazing reviews, I've been a slowpoke with updating. So, I will try my very best to get two chapters up today. Well, actually, I need comments first, so I will try and get the Total blog comments up tomorrow. **

**Iggy: Angel!**

**Angel: Iggy!**

**Angel and Iggy: -hugs- **

**Iggy: I missed you!**

**Angel: I've been hanging out with Evil Robina.**

**Iggy: How's the flock?**

**Angel: We've all been picked off, one by one. **

**Iggy: No one's left!?**

**Angel: Nope. **

**Iggy: What are these fanfiction writers doing to us?**

**Angel: Kidnapping us, apparently. **

**Iggy: -shakes head- Who's gonna save the world now?**

**Angel: -shrugs- I like to think of it as a short vacation. **

**Rain: Sorry to cut into this lovely reunion, but I need my disclaimer done! :) **

**Iggy & Angel: Rain owns nothing. :)**

**R & R**

Total kicked out lightly in his sleep, snoring quietly. Suddenly, he heard footsteps, and he jolted awake, pressing his ear against the door.

"Thanks, Fang. Air was a good idea. I... I had a nice time with you." Max's voice. Total grinned deviously, this sounded _juicy_.

"That's okay, Max." Fang's voice was quiet. "I had a nice time with you, too." Total could hear the smirk in his tone. Suddenly, they stopped outside the door, and Total dived under Fang's bed. "I'll just grab my jacket, and then we'll head out for that ice cream, okay?" Total saw Max nod as Fang opened the door.

"Ew, Fang." Max wrinkled her nose, "Your room stinks."Fang rolled his eyes.

"Um... where did I put that windbreaker...?" he muttered to himself, rummaging through his cupboard.

"It smells like such a _guy's _room." Max continued.

"I _am_ a guy." Fang reminded her. Max snorted.

"I sure hope so." Total smirked at the teenage girl's words. This was awesome- lovers playful banter. The blog fans were _so_ hearing about this one. Fang grabbed his jacket, and turned to give Max a tiny smile.

"You're pretty." Fang commented. Max's eyes widened in shock and she stopped breathing for a moment. Then, her eyes narrowed.

"You did that on purpose! You know what happens when you do that to me!" she said indignantly, but Fang's smile just grew wider.

"It is true though." He crossed the room boldly and kissed her gently, wrapping his arms around her waist. Total cringed.

_For the blog, for the blog, for the blog! Wow... Fang, keep it G rated, man! Argh! FOR THE BLOG, TOTAL. _He thought hysterically as the kiss moved into full-blown making out. Eventually he squeezed his eyes shut, relying on his ears. Finally, the pash fest stopped, and he figured it was safe to open his eyes again.

"You're pretty, too, Fang." Max smirked. Fang brushed a stray strand of her hair behind her ear.

"I just like seeing the great Maximum Ride speechless."

"I like seeing the great Fang moving his mouth so much." Total spluttered under the bed, wishing he could erase that from his memory... IMMEDIATELY.

"What the... TOTAL!!!" Suddenly Max's head appeared a few inches from Total's hiding spot.

"Don't tell me he was... that he saw..." Fang suddenly paled.

"And heard!" Total snapped. "Don't do that when the flock is around!"

"Of course we wouldn't- wait! That's beside the point! You little sneak! You were spying on us, for Iggy or something, or-" Max was turning a weird shade of crimson by this point, and Total figured that it was time for him to leave.

"So... no ice cream?" he heard Fang ask Max as he sped into the corridor.

"Come back here you little cretin!" she screeched. Fang sighed. So much for their date... damn Total to h-e-double toothpicks, as Angel would say.

_Later_

Total snuck back into Fang's room- he'd seen Max and Fang leave about ten minutes ago after hiding for the past hour and a half. He'd been holding the little Fax memory in his mind (and resisting the urge to puke), and now it was time to blog it to the world!

**Welcome to Total's blog!  
You are visitor number: 70,001  
Today's date: 27/7/09**

**Well, faithful readers, it's me again, Total. This will probably have to be a quick blog, because I am (once again) fearing for my life. This time, it's not at the hands of deadly Erasers or the School, it's at the hands of Maximum Ride. Yep, that's right, the one who's supposed to be PROTECTING US ALL, wants me to suffer a slow and painful death. Okay, so maybe I witnessed a little lip-locking between her and Fang, but I was **_**locked in his room, **_**for petes sake. I didn't particularly want to watch, but it was out of my hands. Besides, you would've wanted me to watch, right?**

**Okay, before I give you the down-low on the latest Fax-related situation(like my lingo? I picked it up from some TV show) I must repeat; DO NOT TELL FANG ABOUT THIS BLOG. I will get thrown into a tar pit, and I will not be thrown a life preserver. I will be left to burn, and other horrible things. So PLEASE. Don't tell Fang. :) **

**Anyway, I'm sure you're all dying to hear (well, read) about what happened. So...**

**I was hiding under Fang's bed, seeing as I'm being all sneaky-like about the stealing-the-laptop-to-secretly-blog thing, and I Fang and Max come into the room. Max made some comments about how Fang's room stinks (it really does), and I think they were about to go out for ice cream or something. You know, that romantic stuff that lovey-dovey couples usually do. Not that Fang or Max are even remotely lovey-dovey, but you get the point. **

**Anyway, suddenly Fang does his deep eye stare thing, and tells Max she's pretty. Our ever-strong leader melts, and can't find the words, and ETC. It was all very OOC, if you ask me. I mean, Max fights Erasers, looks after 6 others besides herself, has survived THE SCHOOL, and has to save the world, and she never breaks a sweat. But one look from Mr. dark-and-never-speaks, and she's gone. It just doesn't make sense to my large doggy brain. **

**So Max is almost gone, but she comes to her senses, and tells him to stop taking advantage of her Fang-related weakness. Fang smirks in that subtle way of his, and tells her it's true. And then he crosses the room and plants a kiss on her. Now, that might not seem like much, but the Fangster decides that one kiss isn't enough for him, and so it turns into a pash-fest. It was very gross, to say the least. I'm just glad Angel wasn't in the vicinity to hear his thoughts, which I'm sure weren't very clean, not at ALL. Max's wouldn't have been much better, I imagine. **

**Anyway, then I gag, because I'm sick of watching these two kids exchange spit, and Max sees me. Her face beings to turn red, and I high-tail it out of there. I hide, and they go out for ice cream, and now I'm blogging. Wow, this blog wasn't actually all that short. **

**Oh crap! I hear voices! Gotta run!**

**-Total**

**A/N;**

**Blog comments up next. I want some jealous Fang lovers! Leave your comments, pretend to be obsessed with the Fangster, whatever. Make it interesting, spice it up a little. :) **

**R & R, and comment on Total's blog! :D **

**-Rain**


	6. Ew, dog food Woot, comments!

**A/N;**

**Okay, so it's Anti-Hardwicke day!! WOOT!  
I posted my one-shot; 'When the fans get angry'. Go read it, please? And remember to be cool, and review.  
Review, not drugs. And stuff. **

**Anyway, here's the next chapter of Total Takes Over- I love doing blog comments, they're so fun. A few of you left interesting ones, which is awesome. :) **

**Iggy: -raps- Yo, Rain owns nothin', yo. **

**Rain: ...**

**Iggy: -still rapping- I ain't trippin', she totally owns nothin'. YO. -makes gangster motions with his hands- **

**Rain: ...**

**Everyone: ...**

**Iggy: -coughs-**

**Everyone: ...**

**Rain: ...Read and Review?**

**Iggy: -glances around nervously- -clears throat- **

**Rain: ...**

One day had passed, and Max had dealt her punishment. Total, to say the least, was _outraged_. She couldn't do this to him! He wasn't some... some... _barbarian!_

Total stared at the bowl of dog food in front of him with _contempt_. (A/N; haha, contempt. Any of my 'Amazing Clichés' readers will get that reference.) How could she expect him to eat this!? Total would rather chew his own leg off than eat this. He scowled, while the others giggled at his misery.

"Come on doggy, eat the dog food!" The Gasman taunted. Total growled.

"Do it, Total." Max warned.

"Before Mom get's home." Ella agreed. Oh, so they wanted him to eat the food before Dr. Martinez busted them, huh? Well, well, well...

"Total... you'd better eat it. It's not all that much, and this is one of the less evil punishments Max has in mind..." Angel told him worriedly. Total sighed, and sniffed the food cautiously. It didn't _smell_ all that repulsive... but... he shuddered, closed his eyes and shoved his mouth over the room, trying not to taste as he wolfed the whole thing down in almost twenty seconds. He looked up, food smeared all over his face, and growled.

"There." He told them. "Am I forgiven _now_?"

That was all it took. Soon the entire flock was laughing their heads off, rolling around on the floor. Even Angel was giggling so hard that her blonde curls were bouncing. Fang was chuckling, while Gazzy and Iggy were imitating the sounds he'd made when he was eating. Total 'hmphed' and walked off. How dare they!?

As he passed the living room, he spotted the laptop. He wondered how many comments he'd raked in after that last post. Grinning, he leapt up onto the sofa and logged in, sorting through the many, _many_ comments that had been sent in from his readers...

**Mandarinluvr: OMG, SRS? FANG KISSED MAX!!! –CRIES, CRIES, CRIES- **

_Yep. He kissed Max. Don't cry. _

**Subzero: Why don't you ask angel to get a ipod touch? Or a netbook? I'm not sure you can carry a laptop, unless it's one of those E pcs. **

_How is Angel going to afford to get me either of those? Especially since she's not allowed to mind control anyone anymore. And I don't need to carry the laptop around- I just sneak on whenever no one's around. _

**Bedelato: Total, how do you type that? You have paws! Unless you have thumbs hidden down there or something...**

_Nope. No thumbs. I pin it all down to the power of genetic alteration. _

**CrazyBrainiac: Awesome! Total u r such a sneak! Good luck trying to stay alive. Why don't u ask angel for your own laptop? **

'_Coz Angel can't mind control anyone to get me one, and can't afford to buy one. And thanks, so far I'm still among the living. And yes, I am a sneak. Thanks for noticing. _

**LunaPadma: WOW! Total, we of the world are behind you!  
U rock my sox! We'll keep up the reviews if you keep up the blog comments!  
PS: How do you like your generic dog food in the morning?**

_Thanks for the support. Thanks for the compliment. Thanks for the comment. NOT thanks for the weirdly ironic joke. I'll explain next blog post... _

**Shadowleaf264: Omg! I don't believe Fang would do that! Total, please, you HAVE to make them break up somehow. And then tell Fang to come to Santa Cruz, California. Come on Total, you're the best, you HAVE to!**

_Believe it, kiddo. Um... I think EVERYONE would kill me if I tried to do that. And, uh... I'll pass the message along. I don't know how much notice Fang would take of it, but whatever. Thanks :)_

**Ashpi: FANG! No, why, oh why did you make out with Max?! I thought that I was starting to grow on you? I mean, I sent you all those emails, and texts, and voicemails, and IMs! And how did you escape my house!? I could have sworn you were locking in my closet! NO!**

Aw, good for them! I've been waiting for Max and Fang to be together since the beginning. Total, keep checking up on them, we have nowhere else to turn to for that information! I LOVE YOU TOTAL!

What's going on with Angel and Gazzy and Nudge? I know they're a little young for the romance-y gossip, but what about some other gossip on them? And how are you and Akila?

_Um... okay. Do you have a multiple personality disorder?  
_(A/N; I'm only kidding, Ashpi, I know that you only went all fangirl because I asked everyone to!)  
_I mean, fangirl to happy for them? I'm confused... But, uh... you're a stalker? Are you? I'm locking the doors tonight. When did you kidnap Fang? He's been here the entire time...?  
Oh, me and Akila are doing wonderfully, thanks for asking.  
I'll keep checking up on Max and Fang, and some Angel, Gazzy and Nudge stuff to come, hopefully. I've been meaning to get Gazzy back for that prank he and Iggy pulled... anyway, hope that answers your questions. Also, I would like to note that stalking is against the law. Thank you. _

**Zeze: Oh, no Total! You're hearing voices?! Are they telling you to save the world?**

_Nope, I'm not hearing voices. And no, I'm not being told to save the world, THANK GOD. I'll leave that job to Max, even though she wouldn't be able to do it without me... _

**.Scream Meh A Love Song. x3: ****NO!  
Max, he is MY FANG.  
Ha.  
MINE, I repeat, MINE!  
LOL**

_Um, no... he's Max's Fang. Better not let her catch you saying that, unless you don't like having all your teeth... _

**Alex Ride: NO! TOTAL THAT WAS ALL IN YOUR IMAGINATION! FANG WAS HERE WTH ME! NOT IN A MAKEOUT FEST WITH WITH HER! IF THAT EVER HAPPENS THOUGH SHE BETTER LEARN HOW TO KEEP HER GRIMY HANDS OFF MY FANGGIE-POO! SHE IS SO NOT INVITED TO OUR WEDDING! TRUST ME WE'RE HAVING ONE. HE JUST DOESN'T KNOW IT YET.**

_Wow... what do I even say to that? 0_0  
Can I come to the wedding? _

**Kelsey Goode: I want a guy like Fang! Why is it that girls always fall for the hot mysterious bad boys? Maybe if you act all badass Total, Akila will fall in total love with you!**

_I am badass! I even swear sometimes. Look; ass. See, I swore! I'm totally badass! And Akila is in love with me already! We're getting married, I tell you! :)_

**Dt2009 with Dark Blue wings: holy crap Total!  
you really know how to get the dirt on the Flock!  
Love the blog! but i hav 1 question: You got any dirt on Nudge?  
i know that seems mean, but i kinda got a crush on her...  
ignore that last part...  
Update soon!  
Total Rulez!**

_Um... Nudge is 11, just reminding you. And yeah, I do know how to get the dirt. I'll try and do some snooping around Nudge... I'll get back to you. And yes, I do rule. _

**7andthefluff: ****FANG! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL!  
WAS OUR LOVE NOT STRONG ENOUGH! AND TO THINK I'M HAVING YOU BABY WHILE YOU GO LIP LOCKING WITH SOME TRAMP!  
*B* slaps Fang***

_Fang got you pregnant!!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!?!?!?!?_

**Reiko Rose: ****Total, you seem to have a habit of getting yourself into weird situations. I'd avoid Max for a little while... she might break out the duct tape.**

_Egad! Not the duct tape! And yeah, -sighs-, weird situations seem to just LOVE finding me. _

**Orangeandpurplestripedmonkey: So... Max isn't single? :( Dang. **

_Nope, Max isn't single. Sorry, pal. _

_I'd better head off. Thanks for all the comments!_

_-Total_

**A/N; Thanks for reading! Now review, 'cause reviewers are cool. **


	7. Revenge is sweet

**A/N;**

**I haven't updated this in AGES! Bad Rain, bad!**

**I'll make this a quick A/N, so you can read the story. El?**

**El: She owns nothing. **

**Rain: Oh yeah guys, meet El. I've already explained her existence, so go read Amazing Clichés if you want to know why she's here. **

**El: Wow, thanks for the big write up...**

**Rain: She's sarcastic. **

**El: (: **

**Rain: Anyhoosles, read and review!**

Total stared at the laptop, waiting for his blog to load. Paws twitching, he quickly began to type. Iggy and the Gasman would _pay_ for what they did to him!

**Hello! You are reading Total's blog!**

**Visitor number: It's climbing steadily. **

**Today's date: 22/8/09**

**Yes, yes, I know it's been a while since I've blogged. I've been... busy. Busy trying to think of a way to get revenge on those little cretins- Iggy and the Gasman! **

**They put **_**pink**_** in my fur! Not just one stripe, but **_**five**_** stripes! I was asleep, a nice peaceful sleep where me and Akila were frolicking in a field of flowers and- **

**Well, you don't really need to know what the dream was about. **

**Anyway, I was sleeping, and they **_**dyed my fur pink!**_** One of my ears is pink, and my tail, and stripes down my back! It's degrading, I tell you! Dr. M punished them, and it's fading out with every wash... but it is not enough! I want reconciliation! **

**So today, I spied on them. **

**Before you say how sneaky and low that is of me, just let me say I don't care. They put pink in my fur!!**

**PINK!**

**Anyway, so as I was spying, I noticed something very peculiar. We all know Iggy likes Ella, right? Right. Well, Iggy and the Gasman were in their room, Iggy speaking quietly while the Gasman wrote it all down on a sheet of paper. Luckily Iggy was too absorbed in what he was saying to notice me watching from the corridor. What seemed like **_**ages**_** later, Gazzy put the paper in a drawer and he and Iggy stood up. I quickly scampered into Angel and Nudge's room down, and jumped onto Angel's bed. They passed by without even glancing at me. Then I ran back to the room and hopped on the bed closest to the chest of drawers. With some difficulty, I managed to get the drawer open with my teeth and rummage inside until I found the letter. It was very interesting, to say the least. Well, okay, it wasn't all that interesting, but it **_**will**_** be.**

**Here's what it said;**

_**Dear Tess,**_

_**You probably don't remember me. It's Jeff. Yeah, I was the kid who went to school with you a while back... anyway. **_

_**I just wanted to say thanks. You were the first friend I've ever had, because of my parents moving around so often. So uh, thanks.**_

_**Take care,**_

_**Jeff.**_

**Not interesting, right? So, this is what I've changed it to;**

_**Dear Tess,**_

_**You probably don't remember me. It's Jeff. Yeah, I was the kid who went to school with you a while back... anyway. **_

_**I'm writing to say I miss you. I really miss you. I think about you all the time, that might sound weird but it's true. Just thought I'd let you know that I care. Maybe we'll meet again, and we could be together. **_

_**Love, Jeff. Xxoo. **_

**Yes, yes, I'm a bad person, but rest assured I'm not letting him send this one off. I'm simply leaving this on the kitchen table to get Iggy in trouble with Ella. Don't ask me why Iggy wants to contact Tess in the first place, maybe just because she was nice to him while the other kids were sorta mean, or something. I mean, Iggy's **_**blind**_**. They can't have been nice. **

**Before I go, just remember... HE PUT DYE IN MY FUR! PINK DYE!**

**I'm going to try and wash the rest of it out.**

**-Total **

Total padded out of the room and headed for the kitchen, letter in his mouth. Ella was watching TV- perfect. He jumped up onto a chair and placed the letter on the table. Finally- revenge!

**A/N;**

**I wanted to do something with Nudge/Angel/The Gasman, instead of all this romancey type stuff, but I'm stuck... review and tell me? Please? **

**Also, check out my Fang video on youtube. It's so stupid, but they're fun to make. If you feel like watching more stupidity, suggest a video as well. It'll give me something to do... yeah.**

**-Rain**


	8. But comments are sweeter

**A/N;**

**Finally updating! Thanks to all the comments, I've included them all as well as making some up. **

**Oh, for those of you who don't read 'Amazing Clichés', I've got a surprise! A sequel to 'the Lists'. It's gonna be called 'Calling in Backup' or 'The Backup'. Summary;**__

_**Dr. Martinez thought that living with the flock would be a breeze. Even after the throbbing migraine the Lists caused her, she is determined not to give up. Maybe it's time to call in for backup...**_

**I wasn't sure who the backup would be, but then I got an idea so now I know. :D **

**Hope you enjoy this chapter, and please tell me what you think about the Lists sequel. :D**

**R & R.**

Total stared at the computer screen, scanning the comments and choosing those he would reply to. Taking a deep breath, he began.

**Live-Laugh-Love-Twilight: **

**lol, u are a freakin GENIUS with this stuff, total! U R SO EVIL! but we love you! keep the blog updates coming =)**

_Thanks, I know I'm a genius. Evil, maybe, and thanks. I'm very lovable. I'll keep the blog updates coming so long as everyone keeps commenting! It's my time to shine, I tell you!_

**Subzero:**

**You are just diabolical, yknow that? But It is a rather fitting revenge, humiliating Iggy. Was the dog food Iggy's idea? Or you could just keep the letter and use it as GOLD Blackmail material.****Oh, and Total? Iggy may rip out your fur. Slowly. Then rub your skin with a wire brush, then pour salt in the scratches. Just a warning.**

_Thanks for the warning. Yeah, I'm diabolical. Iggy suggested the dog food, 'cos that kid's genius at revenge plans, even if they're none of his business, like the Max and Fang incident, for example. My revenge beat his though, I'll let you all know what happened next blog post..._

**Vera A:**

**Total! Seriously, how could you!? I'm, like, a total (no pun intended) fan of Eggy, and, and, and... you're ruining their relationship!  
Hey, Total, did you ever notice that when you say the Total/Akila pairing abbreviation, which is Takila, it sounds like 'tequila'? ...TOTAL! DO YOU DRINK!? THAT'S ILLEGAL! YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR CLOSE TO TWENTY-ONE! BAD ALCOHOLIC POG! (Parrot Dog)  
Hey, Total, you're know you're named after a cereal, right?  
By the way, Total, have you ever been whacked with a herring? This makes sense if you've heard of a certain author, I promise...  
SQUEE! I heard about the Fax! But, isn't it weird how 'fax' is, like, a way to send people stuff? And then 'mang' is REALLY close to 'ming', which is some ancient society or other. Then you have Eggy, and 'eggy' means, like, something is related to eggs. Illa isn't anything weird, I don't think, but I'll keep looking...  
Hey, Total, can you spy on Dr. M for me? Thanks! Also, what's Jeb been up to lately?  
Oh, and Total? Do you like muffins?**

Vera

_I'm not ruining their relationship! I'm really not. No, I didn't notice that actually! No, I do not drink anything but water, and occasionally juice or milk. Or soda. I'm not a parrot dog. I don't know what I am. And really? Why am I named after a cereal? How do you know that? Are you from Itex?? Maybe I shouldn't be talking to you... No Vera, I can't say I've ever been whacked with a herring. _

_Um, yes, that is a coincidence. No, I don't think Illa is anything weird, but uh, you keep at it. I don't know what Jeb's been up too. Why do you want me to spy on Dr. M? Yes, I like muffins. That was an... interesting comment. _

**Fangaliciousttttastytasty:**

**O, Total. Keep it coming. Fang was getting a little boring, I'm really glad you started your own. Good luck!**

_Thanks. I am more interesting than Fang, aren't I? _

**Alex Ride:**

**NOWAY! Total! You have to make Iggy pay worse than that! Just writing to that Tess girl will just make him twitchy... If your gunna do somthin than go all out. Oh was that die semi permenant? That pink can't be that good with your complexion...**

_It was wash-out, thankfully. How do I make him pay more? Ideas are always good. No, I didn't think the pink was good with my complexion either! Angel told me I looked cute, but she's always thinking of my feelings, that girl. _

**Lex the SPAZZ:**

**I want to see you with pink hair! That would be HILARIOUS! hehehehehehehehehehe  
Tell Gazzy and Iggy they did good. Their the best, but you are too. ;D (hehehehehe)  
so... Bi**

_They are not the best! It was not hilarious! Unfortunately, I can't pass the message along, because no one actually knows I've got a blog, remember... Heh. Sorry about that. I know I'm the best, thank you. _

**MalissaB:**

**Poor Iggy. :( Hope he doesn't get in too much trouble.**

_Poor Iggy? Poor IGGY!? He didn't have pink fur for a week! He won't though, Ella is forgiving. _

**LunaPadma:**

**Hey Total-ey awesome Total! You rock and keep them blogs coming!**

_Love the pun. Thanks, I am awesome, and I do rock. I'll keep 'em coming, don't worry!_

**The Broken Penacle:**

**Total. Total, Total, Total... You are such a... sneak. That was really low. But then again, it was PINK for goodness sake. PINK!**

Oh, yeah, by the way. Any um, shall we say, obsessed fangirls claiming to have been knocked up by/kidnapped/or are married to Fang are delusional. Some people need to get real. Awesome blog though. Keep it up, macho man!

_I think you are my favourite commenter. You're sensible, and you agree that pink was too far. Also, you called me macho! THANK YOU! I am macho! Finally, someone appreciates it! They are delusional. Max and Fang are just... true love. Oh man, I'm turning into a sap..._

**Kittyxx92:**

**That's mean Total :(. Think how Ella would feel...  
Anyway, I'm sure you looked really cute with pink fur! Even if you didn't, just be glad it wasn't permanent.  
I wish the flock would come to England again, I missed them last time (Just happened to be the time I was on holiday in the US :/)**

_Sorry, but Ella was in it just as much as the rest of them! I'll explain everything to them later, don't worry. She'll be fine- tough as nails, that girl. Not as tough as Max or the rest of the Flock, but she's pretty strong. Good for Iggy- sensible. Thanks, but I don't think I looked cute. Anyway, I might suggest it to Max. I love England! _

**Hugatree9848:**

**hahaha Hilarious Total! But poor Iggy! =( you would probably look really good with pink in your fur, maybe start a new trend. you of all people can pull off t he look. Be nicer to Iggy I don't want him to be all sad when I kidnapp him! You can ** off Fang as much as you since I don't plan to kidnapp him for a while.**

_I __**do**__ like trendsetting, but I prefer my natural colour. Um, since when are you kidnapping anyone? Ugh, crazed fangirls..._

**Reiko Rose:**

**Bad Total! I know they put pink in your fur (the horror!... oh wait, I actually like that color), but you'll just hurt Ella if she actually likes Iggy!**

_She does like Iggy- you can see it. Look, I'll explain everything to them later people! You're all guilt-tripping me! :( _

**BlueStripedPolo:**

**Oh, Total! That was so mean! I mean, yes, they did put PINK dye in your fur, and YES you do have to take a lot of baths trying to get it out (do you like baths? I know my dog doesn't. Hm, you might like her. She's a St. Bernard... Her name is Olivia, she drools a lot... You think about it). Back to my point! But that doesn't mean you should mess with Iggy and Ella! What if someone did that to you and Akila..? I might just do that!! Yep, I'm going to write a letter to Akila!! Haha!  
Oh, update soon!!**

_It was... PINK! I'm just not going to try anymore... I'll apologise okay! Don't write the letter! Please! I'll apologise!! Sorry, but I don't think I'll take you up on that offer. Akila's the only one for me. _

**What..:**

**TOTAL you are one bad BAD cute puppy! But then... if Ella gets jealous and blah blah blah stuff, I can have Iggy to myself! Oh *coughs* shoot you did NOT see that. Good luck to Iggy and Me- I mean Ella! *sarcasm* Total, hope you survive :)**

_I am cute, aren't I? If Ella get's jealous, Iggy'll just blame me, 'cos he'll immediately suspect me. Even if it is my fault. No one is going to kidnap the flock? Why do you all keep saying that?_

_Time for me to go. Thanks for all the comments!_

_-Total_

**A/N;**

**Make sure you leave ideas for Gaz/Nudge/ Angel, and tell me what you think of the sequel idea! :D **


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